Maybe this is a bad time to start blogging again hahaha. I'd love to have something optimistic and cheery to present to the world, but oh my fuck I am done with life right now.
Let's see. So far in 2017, the country has gone to abrupt and sickening hell and every day the news headlines read like the writers for The Onion are running out of ideas and diving headlong into the absurd; I entered and exited another disappointing relationship characterized by extreme stress and emotional chaos; my mother was diagnosed with, treated, and is currently recovering from surgery for ovarian cancer; I moved out of one apartment and into another, with attendant unnecessary drama; and I received a promotion at work which while totally YAY THIS IS AWESOME also means more upheaval and adjustments and additional responsibilities without leaving any of my old responsibilities behind and the old responsibilities were highly hectic to begin with.
And each one of those things comes with its own pageant of additional stress factors.
I am tired.
Everything is moving in a definite good direction; by the end of this year I will have lined up nearly all my life circumstances to exactly where I want them. I just have to survive long enough to get there.
No part of my life has remained untouched and free from change this year. Settling into the new things will take awhile. Change is always stressful. And I didn't have a lot of emotional capital to spare going into any of this, because of how the last three years have gone.
Fortunately, as far as I can see ahead, there is no further urgent thing coming down the pipeline; it's all just a matter of adapting to the latest changes, and there's no huge rush on any of that. So I can settle in, get a shit ton of rest, and try to recover and reestablish myself in a way I haven't been able to do since 2013. And that part is exciting - or would be, if I had any capacity to feel excited right now.
It'll probably take the better part of the remainder of the year to rest up. But that's okay. It is nice at least to finally have some time on my side.
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