Wednesday, May 28, 2008

I plead the First

When I went to fetch the office mail this morning, one of the post office boxes was sealed shut.

Thinking that perhaps we had been late with our annual rent, I popped in to see the clerk.

No, we don't need money, he said. We need information.

And proceeded to hand me a form requesting not only the name of each person authorized to use the post office box, but also two forms of identification for each said person.

I didn't keep my temper very well. I was exhausted from driving eight hours the day before and staying up too late trying to wind down from the driving; also in a foul mood from taking Prednisone for the latest migraine. I stared at the application in extremely annoyed disbelief.

The postmaster explained that two of the "hijackers" had used post office boxes with false IDs. I did not say, as I was thinking, "And it took our wonderful government SEVEN YEARS to get around to addressing that moot issue?"

I mean come on. Homeland Security is getting a little a.) tardy and b.) meticulous. Both in a bad way. Are they bored over there, or what?

I like to keep my political opinions offline as much as possible. But when I have to present two forms of ID to get my own mail, the government has gone a little too far. I don't like big government. I don't like the implicit attitude that each and every American citizen has become suddenly suspect of potential terrorism (what of our judiciary slogan, "innocent until proven guilty"? I realize a government should not be foolhardy, and that preemptive measures must be taken in some regards, but our mail? Isn't it enough that flying has become the world's biggest hassle?). I don't like the sense of being spied on -- 1984, anyone? I don't like every postal worker that waltzes through the local post office having access to my driver license and passport numbers -- especially because I saw completed forms with such information on them just lying around in the post office. And I don't like the absurd parallel to the one kid in fourth grade who throws his potato chip crumbs all over the floor and suddenly nobody's allowed to eat in class.

And some of the "ID" forms that are acceptable to the government strike me as being None of Their Business. Here's the list as I received it from our local post office:

- State Issued ID Card
- Armed Forces ID
- Vehicle Insurance Policy
- University ID
- Home Owners Insurance Policy
- Current Lease
- Certification of Naturalization
- Government ID
- Voter Registration Card
- Passport
- Recognized Corporate ID Card
- Mortgage
- Deed of Trust
- Alien Registration Card

Vehicle Insurance Policy? Home Owners Insurance Policy? Current lease? Mortgage? Since when did the federal government have any business at all sticking their noses into any of that? Does anyone else feel a certain reduction in dignity having to hand over copies of their insurance, lease, or mortgage to the post office, in the event they don't have a voter registration card or a passport? What next? Credit card numbers? Bank accounts?

No. This is ridiculous. I have been a staunch supporter of the "War on Terror" as the better of two evils for a long time now, while still thinking of it as an evil. But I've found the whole thing increasingly distasteful of late, and when this "War on Terror" hobbles my ability to do something as simple as gather the mail as a daily part of my job, I really don't think some of the higher-ups are doing theirs. What has Homeland Security been doing besides making daily life more difficult for the average citizen without any noticeable benefit or increased (hm) homeland security? Have there been more threats and fake IDs used to obtain post office boxes? Why not tell us then? What next -- the government opening and reading everyone's mail? (Maybe they already do this and I'm behind on the times.)

It doesn't make sense. I feel a distinct sensation of bureaucratic strangulation. Soon we'll be so numbered and tagged and ID'd that we won't be able to go anywhere or do anything without having our numbers tattooed on our arms or stuck in chips under our shoulders. How much does the federal government have a right to know? When did the Republicans start getting big government? Because this is practically socialist, and I'm no fan of that.

It's bad enough that the gas prices are soaring uninhibited by any grounds of decency or common sense, which is driving up the cost of every other imaginable thing -- goods, food, transportation -- to the point where services (like my small law office) suffer because the average person can't afford to pay the bills and eat and drive to work, much less obtain an attorney.

But having to prove myself twice over just to check the mail is insulting.

I'm annoyed. There are precautions, and then there are absurdities. I've been seeing a lot of absurdity. And I'm sure I'm not the only one wondering whether November's elections will bring any upward change, and how much longer the good American people can shoulder this increasingly unbearable pressure from those elected to care for them.

2 comments:

lvs said...

Dude, I don't know what to say other than I'm with you.

As I'm in the process of applying for a SC teaching certificate, I have to be fingerprinted AND have to pay a $75 application fee for the privilege . Not only that, I have to pay an exorbitant exam fee to take exams (administered by a private, for-profit company, no less) that the gov't REQUIRES me to take in order to get a teaching certificate.

No wonder they're complaining about not being able to get good teachers. I'll go back for my Ph.D, thanks very much.

The Prufroquette said...

Gah. Gaaah. I hate the hoops the feds and the state governments put teachers through -- it's one of the reasons I decided to drop my education major back at GCC. I was a naive romantic (now I classify myself as an idealist since I can't get rid of it) and thought only of the nobility of the teaching profession and of impacting young lives with brilliant literature -- until I saw that all those aspirations were mummified in red tape. I abruptly lost interest. I'd like a LIFE, thank you, not an existence of slave labor grading state-approved exams and preparing state-approved lessons late into the night.

Our beloved Little John is facing the same crisis should he switch from NJ to MD or DE -- never mind having a perfectly valid teaching certificate in one state; you have to go through the whole loop-de-loop all over again if you want to move to another.

And there's nothing you can do about it. You have to shell out money you no longer have, thanks to the soaring cost of living, to companies basically living off a government-approved scam administering nongovernmental tests required by the government, and take all sorts of ridiculous exams just to be able to write your fingers to the bone preparing in advance government-approved lesson plans that focus primarily on passing state standardized tests rather than on actual education.

All I can do is echo your words: No wonder they're complaining about not being able to get good teachers. There are marvelous candidates out there (you) who really could change the world, but the government only seems to care about putting them through a lot of rigmarole in order to have statistics to hold up against Japan. While our young people grow increasingly apathetic and illiterate.

America's future is just really, really bright.

It makes you want to throw up your hands and move to the Caymans. Or Montana.

The Year of More and Less

Life continues apace. I like being in my late thirties. I have my shit roughly together. I'm more secure and confident in who I am....