Whew. I just got a phone call from Pator Bob at the Baptist church regarding a brief conversation we had after the sermon on Sunday, and my parents were right: I was being waaaaay too sensitive. He's pretty awesome, and dedicated to Christian unity and change, and clarified that he was denouncing a mindset (which exists in every denomination) and not any one demonination in particular.
So I feel a whole lot better, and am extremely grateful for God's little nudges that tell me things aren't as bad as I sometimes think they are. Also reminders that everything looks black when I'm tired and all I need for the whole world to be rosy again is a good night's sleep.
2 comments:
I'm glad to hear this had a good ending, in general you know I support not making mountains out of mole hills. I felt kind of the way you felt this week too (though less specifically attacked) when I was trying to explain to our new Chaplain, without lying, why I am currently "churchless". I just left out the fact that I intend to stay churchless for the foreseeable future, that I don't think that affects my standing with any higher power, and that I will continue to practice zazen or explore any other faith I see goodness and love in for as long as I live. And since I really like my job, I'll probably have to keep that to myself for a long time.
I wondered, as I composed the last post, if that's how you feel on a regular basis -- I appreciate your courage and dedication so much more, having finally come to some sense of how you feel all the time. It's EASY to surround oneself with people who think and believe the same things one does; the much greater challenge -- and I'm new to this scene; you've been here for awhile -- is to live peaceably at odds among a unified group.
Part of the tension, too, is wanting so badly to have the years of conflict be finished, be over. Absurd; life IS conflict; and having decided I no longer want to live in bitterness, I'm learning to be realistic in accepting conflict without letting the bitterness back into the mix.
Sigh. At least there's always growth.
I love you.
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