The other day my father informed me, his mouth barely suppressing a sadistic glee, that they're making a live-action movie of one of my all-time favorite shows, Cowboy Bebop.
"Really?" I said, trying to decide if I were more skeptical than excited. (I have vaguely formulated opinions that unless Frank Miller is in charge of the project, anime or graphic novel series, in the interest of philanthropy and respect for the arts, are to be left strictly alone.)
"Yeah." The glee began to push its way out the corners of his mouth. "And guess who they're casting as Spike?"
I eyed the evil shining from his eyes. My stomach told me something bad was coming. "Who?"
The glee erupted from his mouth and ranged all over his face like a swarm of beetles. "Keanu Reeves."
I don't really remember the next couple of minutes. In a hazy mental montage, I remember anguish, and screaming, and pulling my hair, and my dad's evil laughter flinging my littls sobs of pain in splatters all over the interior of the car.
Whichever casting director is in charge of that one should do jail time. Casting Keanu Reeves as Spike Spiegel is like spitting on the Mona Lisa, and someone needs to pay.
Meanwhile there's a special campfire built somewhere for mean people like my dad.
4 comments:
Keep hope. I don't know the show of which you speak, but perhaps Keanu will surprise you... doubtful... but possible... in a alternate universe.
No hope...no hope...
The show of which I speak is phenomenal. Absolutely outstanding. There are only twenty-six episodes, tops, and it was designed that way, and each one is so tightly and seamlessly constructed that there's room in each brief twenty-odd-minute episode for extra stuff. Brilliant blend of heart, drama and humor. Fabulous stuff. Highly recommended.
Just not the Keanu Reeves version. (Ugh, ugh, ugh. What did I do to deserve this? What?)
It could be worse... it could be Ben Afflek.
Oaughhh!
I just had a seizure.
I HATE Ben Affleck.
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