I'm really damn lonely.
If I didn't have a job where I get to hug kids all day, I think I would just sit down with a big old bottle of red wine and purposefully lose my mind.
At least now I know what the problem is. I've been naggingly depressed for weeks and unable to pinpoint why. Now I plan to get my ass out there and make people meet me. (Hey, it's worked before.)
Physical labor helps as well. The Hated Loveseat was wrenched and wrestled out my apartment (argh, despite our best efforts Colette and I got it impossibly stuck in the doorway, until wheezing crippled sickly really old Ted limped out of his apartment and unstuck it in TWO SECONDS -- appreciated and yet so humiliating!), down the stairs, and to the curb, and now my muscles are deservedly tired and endorphins have soothed my troubled brain.
As for the loneliness -- it sucks, but it will pass. I just need to keep busy.
4 comments:
I wish I was less busy.
How about a swap... Could you give me some of your energy and time, and I could give you some of my busyness and work?
I don't know HOW many people have been saying that to me lately, nor how many times I've thought it in the past year. I'll be praying that your efforts to get out and meet people prove to be more fruitful. And if you ever need to chat, call me. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing. You could even drink red wine while doing it. ;) Miss you!
-E
I'll spare you the soul-searching tale of how I arrived at this conclusion, but I really believe you can only experience true loneliness if you've experienced true friendship. It's a consolation of sorts, I think.
Sorry for my earlier comment; I hadn't read the entirety of this entry.
I hope you feel better.
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