the note on my door

This year I've finally been found by door-to-door religious groups.

It's not that I dislike them; but I do dislike being proselytized. Give me an honest, open discussion between two people of differing viewpoints any day; but please, spare me the rhetoric with the intent to convert me to exactly your point of view. I don't share a like point of view with most people of my own faith, let alone anyone else's, and I lost interest a long time ago in getting into one-dimensional arguments where there is no intention to arrive at a deeper mutual understanding, or to broaden both people's perspectives, or to make both people think. I also don't believe I can change people's minds, any more than I believe I ought to go banging on my neighbors' doors trying to change their minds for them because I or my beliefs say that their beliefs are wrong or false or misguided. Attempts from strangers to persuade other strangers based purely on word and symbol are generally fruitless.

Also, in order to answer the door, I have to go downstairs, making sure my keys are in my pocket in case I get locked out. Oftentimes the keys are lying in some place I've never put them before, and I can't remember where they are. Then when I find them I have to kick off my slippers and put on shoes, and now that it's getting colder, I have to don a coat in case I wind up standing in the stairwell for awhile. Answering the door is rather an elaborate process. So when I hear the bell ring, and think perhaps it's Kevin or MP or some other friend, and I get downstairs to see someone holding a pamphlet, it's a disappointment.

After my last hit-up on Sunday, I politely disengaged myself almost immediately and marched back up the stairs and sat down at my computer. Taking a cue from The Meg Formerly Known as Boss, I printed and posted on my door the following text:

"Please Note: If you are calling to solicit, without our direct, specific and personal request, anything material or immaterial, including but not limited to goods, services, politics and religion, kindly refrain from ringing the doorbell, or knocking on the door, and continue on your way. We appreciate your concern, but are not interested.

"Respectfully thanking you in advance for your cooperation, and with our best wishes,
"The Residents"

I may feel a bit mean and take it down in the future, but for now there it sits.

My boss was proud.