So yes, I feel fairly certain it's sun poisoning. My skin is all clear-blistered and disgusting, and hurts like hot pokers. The color now resembles the center of a very rare steak. A living steak, in fact. And I've been feeling sick to my stomach and intestines all day. I almost threw up from the pain this morning when I eased into my shirt.
So I did a few things at work, looked totally pathetic and garnered lots of sympathy (I really do look like a slab of fried salt pork) and came home early to soothe my terrible pains in a rare luxury that I remember from a bout with the chicken pox when I was five years old:
The oatmeal bath.
I've told a few people about this amazing ritual, and they've looked at me as though I were from a far-off planet or had suddenly sprouted an extra, babbling head. But I tell you, it's the most soothing experience you'll ever have in your bathtub, and it's so incredibly cheap.
Steps to Oatmealed Bliss:
1. Find an old sock, preferably on the large/long side. You know, one of the ones that keep getting divorced from their mates in the dryer. They deserve a sticky fate anyway, the jerks.
2. Fill the sock halfway to three-quarters of the way with dry plain oatmeal. (Soooo cheap.) Knot the sock at the top (a very simple knot will do).
3. Place the sock in the tub and start the water. For best results, keep the sock under the running water.
4. Adjust the water temperature as necessary. (For a cold winter's day, a hot bath; or for a hot summer's day, or a terrible sunburn, something nice and lukewarm.)
5. Soak in the lovely smooth glutinous oatmeal water. Squeeze the oatmeal sock over the worst burns for an almost instantaneous soothing.
I'm still experimenting with whether it's best to rinse off, or just towel dry. But do make sure to at least pat the burns dry; letting them air-dry without being rinsed just causes the oatmeal glue to dry and crack, which is (hello!) painful -- as I've just discovered.
And when you're done, just squeeze the oatmeal down to the bottom of the sock, unknot it and turn it inside out, discard the oatmeal, and rinse the sock. Voile!
And anyway, an oatmeal bath is such fun ("'amusing' or 'diverting' darling, never 'such fun'") and it's the only 20 minutes I spent pain and nausea free today.
Vive l'oatmeal!
2 comments:
I commented on your other post, but I don't know if you have comment notification turned on, so you might not see it. Here it is again:
Sarah, I want you to run to your grocery store right now and by Banana Boat After Sun lotion.
It's got Aloe Vera in it, so it'll sooth the skin, but it's also a lotion, so your skin won't dry out and will be less likely to peel. I'm serious when I say this.
You're talking to the guy who had to take a day off work and roll around on the carpet naked because it body burned and itched so much following a traumatic tanning bed experience.
I burned quite badly earlier this summer, and using that lotion, for the first time ever, I didn't peel. AND ACTUALLY TANNED.
Wow, Garrett, if you can tan, anyone can! :)
Thanks for the tip -- I'll be sure to get some. (Love that Banana Boat.)
Parts of the burned skin are cracking away from my shoulders. I'm beginning to look like an onion.
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