I go through these phases...these No One Else Will Volunteer So I Will phases. They're really stupid phases. I'm improving at overcoming them, but the compulsion still seizes me from time to time. (It comes, in part, from being one of the only two people in Sunday School class willing to answer every vapid question that my peers were too sullen or hungover or stoned to care about, and I answered, not because I wanted to, but because I felt sorry for the teachers.)
So now I find myself, having made a promise, committed to an event that I really didn't want to do at all, and which I now dread. Fortunately it will all be over in about three hours. (This event also involves a nice little confrontation with a girl who won't take it well, however diplomatically I say what needs to be said. I don't mind confrontation -- I've trained myself to be very good at it -- but this one isn't going to be any fun; it's going to be headachey and annoying. Maybe I can make it fun -- but it's a church-related confrontation and I really, really hate church-related confrontations. They're so...middle schoolish, as a general rule.)
Bah. What's so hard about saying no?
4 comments:
Just say no! I'm so tired of people walking all over me!
Today I called a business to try and set up a story with them (in essence, giving them a FREE television commercial) and the owner was extremely rude and belligerent. I wanted to get off the phone with him since he was "too busy" to speak with me and said he'd call back. He has. Three times. But I'm not going to get back to him. He lost his chance. I do not want to work with someone difficult if I don't have to, and there are tons of other stories we could do.
Sarah, you're a strong woman. Just say no.. Either that, or F&$* off!
Ha. Grr! Sigh.
I'm taking steps. It's difficult because I have this people-pleasing nature that wants everyone to be happy, and I wind up feeling guilty when I say no. But I'm working on it, and improving consistently.
But the little confrontation last night went really well. I was shocked. Then I was relieved. Then I got the distinct impression that God was laughing at me. Then I laughed at myself -- so often expecting things to be more difficult than they actually are.
And way to avoid! I can't stand being treated badly to do someone a favor.
I played the same role in my sunday school classes growing up. I never wanted to answer anything either, but everyone else just sat there mutely, so I felt compelled to answer every question.
The awkward expectant silences, with the teachers starting to feel badly about themselves because nobody cared...those just HURT me. I knew it made my peers hate me for being a goody-goody, the churchy know-it-all, but I HAD to answer.
Fortunately that trait, which made my high school experience rather unhappy, made my college experience GREAT.
In the "Real World" it seems to be another animal altogether. "Just Say No" should be the Christian campaign against doing too much out of guilt and/or pity.
GREAT profile pic, by the way!
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