An FYI of admittedly nasty snobbery made all the nastier for having been leashed so long

Seriously. Don’t pick a song to replace the good old-fashioned sound of a telephone ringing when I call your cell phone. I never “enjoy the music while [my] party is being located.” In fact, there’s only one person I know whose selections I would like*, so by the time you pick up the call, or let it go to voicemail, I’m deeply annoyed with your bad taste and wondering, if you’re my friend, why you’re my friend, and if you’re a client, what excuse you have for living. Don’t foist that inane mainstream pop offal that you like to think of as music on me. I don’t foist my amazing yet largely underappreciated and misunderstood works of musical brilliance on you. I respect your inability to comprehend it. And I don’t want to annoy you because I already know you won’t like it. Your self-advertisement, your hilarious and ironic demonstration of individuality through your choice of some Top 40 hit song, throws me into a raging inner conflict of fury, despair, contempt and pity, which is just damn uncomfortable. I only wanted to call you, not find myself immersed in a painful internal inquiry as to what went wrong with our culture and when, that art as a rule has died from the public consciousness, of which you are, to my dismay, an oblivious and tragically amusing part.

I want to think the best of you. So have a heart and stick with a simple ring-a-ling-ling. Consider it a contribution to world peace.

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*There are, of course, friends whose tastes I respect, even if I do not share them. But in the interest of common courtesy people should probably save mutual broadening of musical appreciation for get-togethers. Further, hearing the same song every time I call brings me less toward a broadening and more toward a narrowing of the mind. Basically I wind up hating the song through its mindless repetition, and the song-selecter's attempt to convert me to a new genre self-destructs in a serious backfiery way. I appreciate your individuality through your conversation, not your ring tone. Hm, and none of this applies to my respected friends anyway because they already possess the common decency not to commit the disastrous act of rudeness that has so irritated me this morning, for which I thank them.