Wednesday, April 16, 2008

i believe you have my stapler

The stapler in the front office should have joined the Army. From there, it would have been a shoe-in for the Special Forces.

It's invisible.

The consarned thing in real life is the color of oatmeal. This is The Perfect Camo. All of the flat surfaces in the office are either brown or the same bland beige, and it blends right in wherever it sits. I can't count the number of times I have almost pulled my hair out looking for it when it's sitting quietly right in front of my line of vision. And I never see it.

Think about it. Stapler as assassin. There's a future in this, I'm sure.

I just looked around to prove my point, and had to sweep the same area three times before I saw it. Right next to my elbow.

I'm going to hunt up some red electrical tape and give it a bandanna.

Next in Tales from the Quipped: The Story of the Copier from Hell.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I like this "ode to Office Space" you have goin' here. That's a funny story... and it's spoken like a true cop's daughter. Stapler as assassin... I think I'll have nightmares tonight. :-P

Yax said...

You need one of these.

http://www.thinkgeek.com/homeoffice/gear/61b7/

The Prufroquette said...

Ohhhhhhh....it's RED.

I have the same model in black, and I must say I'm completely attached to it. It's nice and heavy, weighs well in the hand, does its job smoothly, and doesn't pull the disappearing act as easily as the Special Forces Stapler.

But, oh, to have a RED one...sighhhhh.

The Year of More and Less

Life continues apace. I like being in my late thirties. I have my shit roughly together. I'm more secure and confident in who I am....