so help me...um, what?

People are funny. People are strange.

The unrepresented opposing party in one of our cases was supposed to look over a copy of a document we had prepared. This person was then supposed to come into the office to sign it if the document was acceptable.

Instead, they added an absurd clause to the copy, which they then proceeded to sign and notarize.

Our client brought in the delightful copy, which I looked over.

"Oh, this clause won't work," I said. "I'll have the Boss take a look at it when he gets back from lunch."

I then noticed that the only signatures on the notarized page were the other party's. I squinted, then grabbed the paper up and looked at it more closely.

"Wait..." I said. "Who the hell notarized this? Did they notarize themselves?"

Yes. They had. Now, I might not be a lawyer, but even I know that doesn't work. Because then the language would look something like, "I solemnly swear that all of the statements contained in this document are the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me -- me."

It was a good laugh on an otherwise dreary day.

*Please note: I know that "they" and "their" and "them" are grammatically incorrect when referring to one person. I know, further, that in English the gender-neutral pronoun is "he," with the variants "his" and "him." However, I must always protect client privacy, and using "they," "their," and "them" allows me the freedom to tell the occasional story without giving away any aspect of any client's identity. So, in this regard of grammaticality, I plead the Colloquial.