If the Brakeman Turns My Way

When panic grips your body and your heart's a hummingbird
Raven thoughts blacken your mind till you're breathing in reverse
And all your friends and sedatives mean well but make it worse --
When every reassurance just magnifies the doubt
Better find yourself a place to level out.

Got a cricket for a conscience, always looks the other way
A cocaine soul starts seeming like an empty cabaret --
Hey where have all the dancers gone? Now the music doesn't play
Tried to listen to the river, but you couldn't shut your mouth
Better take a little time to level out.

I never thought of running
My feet just led the way

Mixed-up signals, bullet train
Cars get switched out in the crazy rain
I could meet you any place
If the brakeman turns my way

All this automatic writing I have tried to understand
From the psychedelic angel who was tugging on my hand
It's an infinite coincidence but it doesn't form a plan
So I'm headed for New England or the Paris of the South
Gonna find myself somewhere to level out

Are your brothels full, O Babylon, with merry middlemen?
Never peer out of their periscopes from those deep opium dens
All this death must need a counterweight, always someone born again
First a mother bathes her child, then the other way around
The scales always find a way to level out

I tried to pass for nothing
But my dreams gave me away

Mixed up signals, bullet train
People snuffed out in the brutal rain
I could live to any age
If the brakeman turns my way

It's an old world, it's hard to remember
Like a dime store mystery
And I'm a repeat first-time offender
Who has rewritten history

Mixed up tea leaves, phantom pain
Fuzzy logic in the crazy rain
Getting better every day
If the brakeman turns my way

Mixed up signals, bullet train
Cars get switched out in the blinding rain
And he'll be smiling as he seals my fate
When the brakeman turns my way

~Conor Oberst