I love my new job. It's going great. The kids are adorable and the girl I'm working with is fantastic.
I'll post about all that later. Right now is a moment for my apparently on-going guy saga. (Why can't these guys' attentions just die quietly? Why must they resurface to throw me into yet another quandary as to how to get rid of them? Oh, and while I'm at it I will freely confess that I try so hard to get rid of them because I don't know what I would do with them if I didn't. I've never dated; what do I know about it? And be vulnerable? Ew.)
So, for those of you who don't already know, here is a recap of Wretched Tim. He is a tall, gorgeous Chinese-American 27-year-old from California, working his butt off and traveling a lot for his job in South Bend. I met him while I was still attending the Boring Church in November, just after he bought a new house (which I helped him move into).
I saw him around at church, he seemed really to like me at least in a hormonal sense (I've never gotten so many intense compliments on my physical appearance), he called me once or twice, I visited him at his house once or twice, I met his tall and charming (too charming) cousin, thought things were taking off, but then he declined to accept cookies I had baked for his housewarming party right before Christmas (I had to work that night but wanted to send along the cookies for everyone else...they were fantastically good, too) and didn't call me again afterward. I knew he was going home to California for a couple of weeks at Christmas, but when three weeks had gone by I simmered, shrugged, and got on with my life.
Five weeks after our last conversation he showed up to see me at Ann Taylor. I was furious, overly polite, and overly bright and cheery. I also stayed a good twelve feet away from him. He caught on to the Ice Queen act, though I don't think he understood why, and I haven't heard from him since.
Now Chris the German (a sort-of colleague of Marianne's at grad school), who attends the Boring Church with Wretched Tim, is throwing an I'm-done-with-Notre-Dame party this weekend and sent out an e-vite to several dozen people that he knows from everywhere. Wretched Tim noticed my name on the e-vite list and sent me an e-mail saying, "Hey Sarah, it's been awhile...how have you been? I saw your name on the list and was curious if you'd be there." Yadda yadda yadda.
Augh! This guy has an inability to use his phone. (Into which my cell phone number is programmed, mind you.) I've had a feeling that this business wasn't over. Here's the thing. He doesn't read much of anything and loves working out too much, California-style. He's also one of the "cultured" middle-class who cares about which wine glasses you use for which wine but doesn't really know much about Van Gogh.
On the other hand, he is courteous and well-bred, with the exception of his phone etiquette.
Poll! What do I do?
5 comments:
He sounds sort of self-involved, and while the whole wine glass thing is pretty cool and charming, it looses it's appeal if there isn't much behind it. I mean, once the wine is poured, you have to have something interesting to talk about, right?? Of course, you realize that any opinions you get from this totally self-selected poll will be biased by your decision as to which info to include in the question wording, and thus inaccurate, not to mention hopelessly unrepresentative of the population from whom you could get advice. (sometimes the sociologist just gets the better of me.) That being said, your friends know best! At the very least, you could make out with him and then decide! ha!! That's great advice, huh???!!!
In all seriousness, I'm getting the feeling that you are skeptical and maybe you should trust that.
i'm gonna play the unbelievably forward parent here, and say this:
chinese-american-american babies would probably be gorgeous ...
HA!
If you're willing to get to know him for a month or so and then start breaking him into the kind of man who picks up, dials into, and then speaks to you on the other end of of a phone. But that could mean a lot of work and you have to have some interest in order to keep that up.
Have you had any indication that maybe he doesn't much like being vulnerable and hence the "I work out all the time, "you need a flute for champagne," and the ever popular "it's been a while?" I have a feeling that you might favor a man who opens up a little later because you'll feel like he's being genuine. But this is a total guess.
Anyhow, you have your work cut out for you. If you relish a challenge, go for it. You might get a few nice dinners or something and you could end up meeting someone who's more fun than his self-involved exterior might indicate. If you think you won't make it into week two of Capt. No-Call's Retraining, then bail. But go to the German's party, even if he's there. Free food, girl!!!
Oh, and wedekind's right - chinese-american-american kids are ADORABLE!
The German never serves food. It's a "Bring Your Own Beer" Party. Classy, I know.
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