Since I'll be getting a sleek bat-killing machine of my very own sometime in the near future, I have begun contemplating the naming of cats...
We have a pattern in our family of giving our animals, particularly our cats, bizarre nonsensical nicknames that have almost nothing to do with their given names.
Take, for example, Alex. Christened Alexander Pennington Farnsworthy, he is now referred to most commonly as "Greubie." In fact, he's never called Alex unless we're discussing his health or yelling at him. And as he is one of the most adored, spoiled rotten animals on the planet, he's seldom yelled at. It's a miracle he knows his "real" name. We also call him "The Cat with a Thousand Nicknames" because he's got so many. MacGreuber, Greubinski, Greubimov, Gruebinski-bimov, Alexi Nimov, Bimi, Greubie-oobi, Greubi-oobi-Alex, Greubers, Alexandroober, Alexanderbilt, Big Head, Keetie. And these are all used on a regular basis.
Then there's Cassie. Full name Cassandra Grace MacLean. Rather less adored, she jumps at the slightest movement and still lives in the terror that one of us will forget ourselves and eat her. She's fluffy, wide-eyed, vacant-headed, and unfoundedly snotty. Her most common name: "Fleuffer." Secondary nicknames Cassiminov and Mauvers. I don't really talk about her.
Then our newest, Simon. He doesn't have a full name; he lacks the dignity and is the darndest kind of cute. I adore him beyond adoration, and instead of preening under it like it's his due (as Greubie does, and rightly so), Simon perks up his ears and trots along after me wherever I am going, as if saying, "Whatcha doin? Can I come too? I like you." He's only been living with our family for a year, so he doesn't have a bizarro nickname yet, just a few crooned variations on his given name. Mom is the giver of nicknames, and it hasn't struck her yet.
Our dog: Given name Lantz. Nicknames "Goggie" and "Stubbinswager." My childhood cat: Given name Nessa. Nickname "Nitters." My childhood dog: Given name Zack. Nickname "Boofers."
My sister: Given name Laura. Nickname "Laura Lynnie Grinny." And then me. Given name Sarah. Nickname "Beezer." (But not on a regular basis; and it is, in fact, the only nickname that's ever stuck on me longer than a month or two.)
So I guess the truth of it is, Mom is crazy. (Gotcha, Mom!) I only hope she's passed the nicknaming gift on to me, because I think it's really cool. It would also be comforting to know that any name I give my future cat will be in the end futile, because I'll call it something else entirely for the rest of its life.
3 comments:
Hey, I can beat Beezer.
My nicknames all come from the Star Wars movies. And the history of their genesis (and the names themselves) are anything but flattering!
I only tell them to people I really like.
my family's given the nicknames to my sister, caitlin.
her full *christened* nickname:
Lütsy Tootsie Goober Tomato-Belly
variatons include:
Lütse, Lütsy, Kid, Cait, and Tomato-Belly
My family also goes way overboard with nicknames, both for pets and people. My sister's old cat was named Shadow. She was called, Shadowinski, Winifred, Winifred Winski, Winnie, among others. My old cat Sammy was called, Corn Chip, SamSam, Nuscience, Schizo. But, he was never called Samuel. His given name was Sammy - not Samuel. Our old dog, Hobo, was called Bo, Pumba, Hobo-Pumba, Boboly-bo, Hobolyboboly, HobolybobolyBo, and the list goes on. My mom's cat, Molly, goes by Mole, Mole-face, Moley, MollyAnna, Anna, Miss Anna, etc. Curently, my cat, Moses is only known as Moses, Mr. Moses, Mr. Jones, or by his full name, Mr. Moses Jones Caler. Now, the list of nicknames I have for my husband is endless and he frequently bemoans the fact that I call him everything but Joshua.
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