Well, folks, it's no Notre Dame for me.
At least I finally got a letter.
There are tons of things I didn't do right, which I didn't even think through till Marianne pointed them out last night, but *shrugs* it's all for the best. I did my crying yesterday before I even got the letter, so I figure I'm pretty well adjusted.
The great thing is, I prayed very specifically today that I would hear from them today, so that I can give definite answers and definite promises to any jobs I'm offered. Now, if I'm accepted to the Center for the Homeless, I can say positively, Yes, I can work for you, and yes, I can work for you for a year or two.
So the timing is rather cool. It's going to be horribly embarrassing at Club 23 next Tuesday to admit to everyone who's already been seeing me around for six months (some of whom are still figuring out that I'm not in grad school) that I won't be joining their professional crowd. That will be a sharp blow to the ego. I have a good mind. I don't want anyone thinking I'm stupid. So yes, that's going to require some courage. For myself, I guess I'm all right with it. Obviously it's not where God wants me, although I'm a little puzzled because I thought that's why I was coming to Indiana. Shows how much I know.
Now the question is, will I stay in Indiana? If I commit to this job (and it's amazing how quickly I heard back from this job: I stumbled across the position last Wednesday, sent them a resume online last Thursday, heard back from them last Friday, was called for an interview on Monday, and had my first interview today) then I'll have to stay, for a little while at least. I don't particularly like the Midwest. I prefer the East. I miss people that make sense to me, and the hills. If I don't get/don't commit to this job, then I'll hope to go back East.
It's been a weird week. A week of praying for wisdom, a week of hoping I'm not reading everything wrong, a week of unusual introspection that has resulted in definite goals but no definite answers. Will I go to grad school eventually? Do I want to? I dunno. What I am, above all else, is a writer. (Leigh Ann just affirmed that tonight. I wonder why I run from all the things that I most am...a writer, a Christian, a woman who wants a husband, home, and family.) So everything will have to stem from that. In the meantime, since I'm not getting married tomorrow, it's important to find what I'm called to do. And where.
Fortunately Leigh Ann will be here in less than twenty-four hours and I can spend some QT with someone who knows me deeply and well, and whose laugh always makes me laugh. That will be a welcome relief in this wasteland of isolation I've been feeling lately.
3 comments:
Sarah, what an outrage! If I were on an admissions board (which, granted, we are unlikely to see in this particular lifetime) you'd be exactly what I'd want in a grad student: brilliant, articulate, opinionated, cool to be around... If you don't mind my asking (and maybe you do), what is it you think you did wrong?
By the way, you had my prayers for the interview yesterday. That would be such a cool job!
SBP needs a cabin in the woods and a big stack of paper (or permanent electricity for her computer and NO internet) I haven't seen a good poem from her in a while! (I thought I was going to get a front row seat to the creation of the next great american author, this year!)
Good luck with the Honors Project, Neil! What's it on?
Dude, your deadline and defense must be coming up soon!
Ya know what I admitted to today? That I enjoy reading Derrida in the French more than the English....shoot me now for unpardonable elitism.
Ya know, Mr. N., if you're checking out grad schools, Notre Dame is a pretty amazing place( the law school is nothing to sneeze at, either)
Just a plug....we need more Grovers out here!
I say "ya know" way too often.
Post a Comment