Tuesday, March 01, 2005

zzzzz

Have just made breakfast at eleven-thirty p.m. and am on the way for bed. Got it a little reversed, I think. Must be wanting the protein.

Chicago was wonderful; I picture myself there above any other city I've been to. I don't intend to move there; I'm not sure what kind of "girl" I am (city girl, country girl, small town girl, suburb girl), but I don't think it's a city girl. Certainly not a Midwest girl. However, Chicago is gutsy and fantastic, and I'm glad of the excuse to spend a day and a night in it. (Also the concert was amazing. We had great great seats.)

I'm remembering the necessity of finding joy in the lostness of being young and uncertain. I have direction but no plans. This month I've fallen back into my old habits of anxiety and terror, which is very easy to do for a worrywart, and I have (in my mind) much to worry about, many upheavals to deal with, and I somehow have to learn to surf instead of clam up and hide.

Whew, those are bad metaphors, but I'm a little tired, so they'll have to do.

The plan is (with sleep) to reacquire my sense of humor and (with devotions and prayer) to reacquire my sense of peace.

That way my blogs don't come off as whiny.

Love to all.

No comments:

The Year of More and Less

Life continues apace. I like being in my late thirties. I have my shit roughly together. I'm more secure and confident in who I am....